In the Zen tradition, we are reminded that the pathway to enlightenment starts with a beginners mind.
It’s all over the wisdom traditions that newness and open-heartedness are the paths to freedom.
And yet – we get in our own way when discernment turns into skepticism.
Think about it – what’s a child like? A child is open and in awe of life. From the simplest things to the complicated – the child sees awe in all of it.
And we all started out this way. But – it doesn’t last.
We are open, we are in awe – and then something happens to make us close down.
It could be that our first love doesn’t love us anymore. Maybe there’s violence at home, or something happens in the world that takes away from awe.
And instead of getting discerning and realising that not all life is awe, but a lot of life can be like that – we generalise and close down in order to protect ourselves.
There are all kinds of skeptical stories out there:
All men are jerks.
All women are gold diggers.
I’m too old.
I’m too young.
I’ll never amount to anything.
The list goes on and on.
If we are to transform, if we are to live our recovery, if we are truly able to be of service to others – we must, we repeat, must learn to transform skepticism back into discernment.
Even if we were cheated on by all our past partners – does that mean every partner we ever have will cheat on us?
We close down because we don’t want to get hurt.
But closing down is what hurts most.
How can we open up a little today? How can we begin to see that just because it’s always been that way doesn’t mean it will always be that way?
Can we open up and trust, but also apply what we’ve learned so that we are wiser and better off for it?
Remember, when we numb our pain, we numb our joy – don’t let the fear of getting hurt stop us from living our recovery.
Is skepticism killing our recovery?
If so, what small change in our perceptions could we make today to allow ourself to be brand new in this moment?
Life will prove our fears wrong if we let it.
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