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Wednesday, 26 August 2015

The 10 Stages 'Child Within' Course enrolment starting next Tuesday 1st of September

The 10 Stages 'Child Within' Course enrolment starting next Tuesday 1st of September for the month of September

at RANE Middlesbrough - St Mary's Centre 12 o'clock

Tuesday, 11 August 2015

Your reaction is yours to share, and the origin of it, the details of it, are kept confidential.

To maintain confidence, while still being able to share stagers would be taught that when talking about the group to others you leave all the identifying material about the other member out of the conversation, and you say what got activated for you as a course member .Your reaction is yours to share, and the origin of it, the details of it, are kept confidential.

Are you addicted to being angry or sad and dissociated?



Are you addicted to being angry or sad and dissociated?






Do you get connection and attention from people by telling your sad story over and over again – but deep down you know it’s time to change?






It’s time to accept what happened and give what happened an empowering meaning. And know that you can get your needs met in healthier ways.

Are you drinking or smoking too much? How is that habit affecting your health and the health of those around you? You say you can stop at any time. Well if that’s the case – why not stop now? How much longer do you want to avoid your feelings and push them down with an addiction that isn’t serving you?



Maybe you are in a relationship with someone who you KNOW isn’t good for you – but you are terrified of letting go and facing the unknown alone. Yet, you know this situation won’t get any better. So you settle for 10% Love that has turned into poison, instead of letting go and facing the fear of being alone. Do you Love yourself enough to let go of this toxic situation, feel your feelings and trust your child within that a miracle is around the corner

Imagine what life would be like if you lived a day, a week or a month without believing or promoting ONE excuse.

VICTIMISED by life, Imagine what life would be like if you lived a day, a week or a month without believing or promoting ONE excuse. What would your life look like?

We have some pretty ingrained excuses - many of them that seem real to us. There is a difference between an EXCUSE and a description of your current circumstance. We can confuse the two. Usually your current circumstances BECOME an excuse and it's easy to hide behind it because no one can argue with your circumstance. But here at the stages we believe that you are MORE than your circumstance and that you can, through trial, effort and faith, transcend your circumstance. Why? Because you are NOT your circumstance. You are SO much more than that!

Excuses lock you into a victims role, Explanations exasperate it.


You are a perfect child within connected to the Infinity of our Meditational Children and for a short while, you are in this body that you inhabit.


When you identify with The Child Within, with your Source and with your Studies (and not your circumstances), you take the first step in transcending your limitations.


Here are some circumstances that become ingrained excuses:



- I don't have enough (time, money, connections, creativity, etc.)



- I'm too (old, fat, young, out of date, tired)



- I'm not (smart enough, tall enough, wise enough, brave enough, enough)



There are MANY more, but this is a short list. It might be true that this is your circumstance, but you are NOT your circumstance. And the more you affirm and identify with your circumstance, the more you will create it. Because what we focus on is what expands and becomes real in our lives.



So, what if you began to see your excuses not as excuses - but as circumstances? And what if you believed that you are more than and could transcend your circumstance? What would life be like a day, a week or a month from now? What if you suspended belief and took a risk?



What if you trusted the subtle whispering within you beckoning you out into the unknown realm of your child withins dreams and potential?



What if you decided to no longer make your excuses your identity, but instead your circumstance - and then get about the business of changing your circumstance?



Not through painstaking effort, but through meditation, service, solving other people's childhood problems, personal growth and making recovery your bottom line. What if taking the stages out into Faith became the new norm? What if you took total responsibility for your life, right now, as it is? You may not have been fully responsible for what happened to you, but you are now responsible for how you engage with and meet your lifes circumstances.



You are so much more than you are giving yourself credit to be, and you have so much more help and assistance that is yearning to come to your aid, if you but allow it to. Be still.



Listen. Identify with the child locked within, make this a new lifelong practice and then get out of your own way.



Can you? What would your life look like if you did?

Sunday, 9 August 2015

Our addictive/dysfunctional behaviour in the past has mystified us

Our addictive/dysfunctional behaviour in the past has mystified us – except that everyone, INCLUDING US, can agree two simple facts. FIRSTLY, there’s no addiction without ‘thought disorder’, broken sentences, blocked phrases. If you don’t know this, then you fail at the first hurdle, and rightly so. SECONDLY, childhoods matter. OK so far? Problems thinking and problematic childhoods – can you suspend disbelief for a moment and blend these two long established facts, despite what you’ve been taught all your life as the corner stone of a new recovery?

The most important thing for us at the stages is that we are allowed to affirm that our child within

The most important thing for us at the stages is that we are allowed to affirm that our child within will have the power to take charge of our lives and stop being dependent on others voices for our self-esteem and security

The Ten Stages is a studied recovery course. It is a source of reconnection a method of unlearning and a reintroduction to our child within which leads us back to our one true intuitive voice.We start to learn and come out of our protective dysfunctional shell and reclaim our lives.

Dissociation within groups (being split-off from one’s deepest truth) mimics enlightenment – but it isn’t enlightenment.



Dissociation within groups (being split-off from one’s deepest truth) mimics enlightenment – but it isn’t enlightenment.


People who are dissociated live in great peace. But this is only because they have blocked their negative feelings. The enlightened person resolves his negatives feelings, and thus his peace is not false.


People who are dissociated do not suffer. But this is only because they have abandoned their healing process and numbed their pain. Enlightenment grows from the fertilised soil of suffering.


People who are dissociated call themselves enlightened. But this is only because they have they have no conception of what enlightenment is. Enlightenment is the polar opposite of dissociation.


People who are dissociated are not easily emotionally ruffled. But this is only because there lies a thick wall buffering their hidden, vulnerable self from the sharp and often honest edges of the world. The enlightened are much less protected, but have such a deep core of self-love that they can defend themselves gently.


People who are dissociated feel they have mastered forgiveness. But this is only because they completely deny the harm done to them – and the damage remaining. The enlightened forgive spontaneously and without effort because they have fully embraced their damaged parts and grieved every honest ounce of their misery.


People who are dissociated are extremely self-confident. But this is only because their self-deceptive armour is impenetrable to self-reflection. The self-confidence of enlightenment is fed by the universal spring of life.


People who are dissociated gravitate naturally toward leadership roles. But this is only because they are experts at leading themselves away from their heart’s true course. The enlightened person leads right to the heart of the matter.


People who are dissociated have gone through hell to get to where they’re at. But they fail to realise that they’re still stuck right in hell. Enlightenment is the freedom of emotional integration.


People who are dissociated feel they have found their true self. But this is only because they equate their true self with no self at all – or at best a false self or ego based on a distorted sense of consciousness. Enlightenment is the true self linked with the conscious mind.


People who are dissociated consider themselves paragons of spirituality. But this is only because their spirits are so buried behind walls of denial that they have no conception of what spirit is.


Enlightenment is the passionate spirit of the child held by the consciousness of the adult.


People who are dissociated are quite motivated, sophisticated, and convincing. But this is only because they perennially risk returning to suffering if they do not convince everyone of their lie. Enlightenment brings a motivation to spread the truth that is everyone’s birthright.


People who are dissociated act decisively. But this is only because they cannot see or question their unconscious motivation. The enlightened person is also decisive, but only because he has no unconscious, because in his healing process it, like a now-useless appendage, has dissolved.


Dissociation is contrary to enlightenment.Behind dissociation lies unresolved trauma, and only once trauma is resolved can the light of consciousness enter the core of our being.

Stagers "We do not talk about what happens in group." Is the mantra the members recite.


Stagers are often asked to keep what happens in at the stages quiet. We are asked to keep a secret. Therapist and agencies alike seem to think this is is a good idea, with the notion that when someone shares in a group their story would not get out.

But the is exactly the wrong way to go about confidentiality, and yet my experience has been when working for agencies and hospitals, that this is the standard. "We do not talk about what happens in group." Is the mantra the members recite.

But they have to and need to talk about what is going on in group in an effort to heal. The problem is Stagers need guidelines.

What's so wrong about asking Stagers to keep a secret? Dissociation is the primary disfunction of the Stager. This means that we will correct during the ten stage course the original dynamics present in our family of origin. When this happens members of the stagers learn how to assimilate the projections and familiar dissociations instilled by their family, and relate to people in at the stagers as individuals, then the world, in a different way.


But if our family of origin have a family secrets, if dad was an abuser, if mom was alcoholic, and you were told by the family "Not to tell what goes on in this family," Then you are stuck with having to keep the family secret.

Stagers who are told not to tell what is going on in group are then given the same message. Instead of a corrective experience of their family of origin, they are getting the same old thing. Keep quiet about what we are doing to you. As you are probably aware this is the central pathology of cults as well. We don't tell outsiders what we do.

True confidentiality then must take into account the fact that stagers must honour the anonymity of people in the study group, while being taught how to speak up outside the study group about their issues and needs. Here is how this can be done.

At the beginning of a new stagers course being formed the members are given an instruction on how to share information from in the group to the outside. In essence a variety of examples are covered. A typical example would be for a member who has shared deeply in the group that her father's alcoholism ruined the family. He was physically and sexually abusive, and eventually lost his job because of it. In this type of sharing other members would talk about the pathology they encountered in their families.

To maintain confidence, while still being able to share stagers would be taught that when talking about the group to others you leave all the identifying material about the other member out of the conversation, and you say what got activated for you as a course member . Your reaction is yours to share, and the origin of it, the details of it, are kept confidential.

In the above example the member wanting to talk about her reaction to it would say something like: " My study group was talking about problems with addiction in the family growing up, and got me to thinking that my mom was actually addicted to prescription drugs. I'd never thought about it before, but our lives were in orbit around her mood."

In this way the confidentiality of the member sharing the information initially is protected, while the work of the individual talking outside the group can continue. The opportunity to give other examples of the group is done regularly through the sessions, with particular emphasis on reasserting the examples and expectations each time a new member joins. With on-going groups the members give the examples to the new person.

Finally, one of the duties of the Stage Guide is to be clear about what happens if a member breaks confidentiality. This can include being removed from the group, being sanctioned by the group, or being removed from the group for a period of time so that the infraction can be more thoroughly reviewed. Members are encouraged to talk about the issue in group if it feels safe enough to do so, and with a Stage Guide privately if it is not.

The Ten Stages is a studied recovery course. It is a source of reconnection a method of unlearning and a reintroduction to our child within which leads us back to our one true intuitive voice.We start to learn and come out of our protective dysfunctional shell and reclaim our lives.